Love is in the air. Never in my life have I ever felt this expression to be more true. I’m not in love myself at the moment – I never have been and sometimes I wonder if I ever will be. Yet it seems like so many people around me are.
And that strikes me evermore as a scary realization. Friends and acquaintances are falling in love, announcing their engagements and getting married. When in the world did we all grow up? I’m more than halfway through college right now and daily pummeled with questions by my parents on what I want to do with my life. I have no idea. Yet my friends are heading toward wedded bliss with all the confidence and assurance that love provides.
I’ve talked to several very close friends in recent weeks about love and marriage. Never in my life would I have thought that at this point in my life those would be topics clouding my mind. Yet with the impending doom of deciding a career path and the happenings with my friends, it’s hard not to think about it. A friend once told me that she was beginning to feel anxious as all of her closest friends were getting engaged. As I am a couple of years younger than she, at the time I thought it was a somewhat silly anxiety. Now I recant some of my cynicism. I’m in no way anxious, but sometimes I wonder if I will be if I’m ever in her situation.
Here lies the biggest dilemma: ambition versus emotion, career versus love. Is it truly possible to have both when you have such high aspirations? And love isn’t quite for me what it is for others. I don’t truly commit easily and it’s even rarer for me to trust completely. So how do you know when it’s real and worth the sacrifice? Especially in a world of high divorce rates and seemingly endless affairs?
I’ve always been good with helping others with their problems and it would take years to recall the countless times friends have come to me with their relationship issues, yet when it comes to myself I’m helpless. To my friends in love, I continue to wish you and your better half all the best. Your personal relationship therapist continues to be on call whenever needed.
All my ladies and especially my best friends, I love you all, but sometimes I wish I could go back to the times when I was just one of the boys.